Ordinary_Words

I SUPER ON THE EDGE SO DON'T BREAK ME
I wrote this letter last week
Of how in love I was with a dream
Fantasys that won't come true

Then I thought
Of the inner me that you will never see
Its sad to think that the blood drips on the street
As my heart spills out your window
That image will never let you sleep

Aye, you've gone away
It okay when I see you
The air will be new
I will be gone too

I love being able to guess
I've gone away, away from you
Like the prediction
Its an addiction
An addiction to this drug called change

I won't stick to one or few but to the view

Current Mood: annoyed

Ha Reality Bites Me in the Arse all the TIME
So whats the big deal? I say its the possible endless circle of reality coming around and bitting you in the arse...Look it just HURTS OK I REALLY REALLY HURTS...I have decided that I'm going to be a cat lady its hope-less
I try to be postive and it just doesn't work out...

I miss some people that I started to get to know and I don't what happened...April if your reading this give me a call I don't have you number but e-mail me I miss you...Crystal you do the same... I don't know what that has to do with my rant but it does...

Okay rant of course has to do with boyz WHY cause it ALWAYS does...I have a down to a science women are 50% of the time thinking about men , 30% of the time about themselves (clothes, wieght, make-up, etc),and 20% think about the future i.e. what they want to do, haven't done, or why things happen (these kind of thoughts come during pms, depression or when things just go wrong and you don't know what to do)

Okay that was women broken down to a science...we are crazy and super involved in our own social world...its a bubble that we create to keep us entertain...I'm just a negative ball of dark humor surrounded by more and more darker bubbles...maybe I should just get high or relax and take a much needed Vay-K...

I met this guy and he was really awesome for like a week and a half then I went and mess it up like I always do just so that he would stay away because I don't want to deal with whatevet it is we are...which it felt like we were internet pen-pals he is way to old to be my internet pen-pal so I've decided I will ignore him for ummm I don't know for--ever...

I know this is what journal would say " you do this to yourself all the time just have fun and get over it" look i'm tring but this isn't what I want therefore its time to move on...

Being a girl is a lot of work we are always working towards something...We get periods and bleed forever (it feels like it), then we need to hunt for men, get married or not to have kids, and do more stuff...so the fact is that we always play more then just one role... We are women, advisors, moms, wives, childern, and lord knows what else...

I have learned that the more in religion some one is the more they do things against there religion...and you want to know the best part they bring on themselves they do this whole self temptation kinda thing and then feel bad about it...I'm like you see thats why religion is such bull because you don't practice what you preach even 50% of the time...

Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: Gnarls Barkley: Who Cares?

Its Spring TIme Lets Ring Tonight Thats All I Can Do
So I'm finally making money but that comes with a price and lets just say its a bit high but It will work out some how. I got a home and my car got a dent. I will be going to tampa at the end of the month and we will see what happens next. I hope life throws me some major str-* pitches because it doesn't seem like its going to be easy. I have less then 30 credits to grad. From Hell IU but we will see again what happens as my life hit theaters soon.

Postive side I get paid, I'm going on a trip. Negative side I've gained weight and I hate it but its my fault for not doing anything about it. So DEAL WITH IT B*****! Damn thats lame but its true I need to get my self going before I start to roll my self every where and lets just say I like walking. I want to think things trough before I even decide what I will do. Sometimes all you need is a little magic and pix dust to get things going.

any way....

**********po'm Time****************

What were you doin all alone
To a tone
For the things, that've gone wrong
Lets just say
I knew it all along
I'm dreamer, You're a sweeper
Come and clean me up

The things that you say
Are meaningless tools
Haven't you heard that actions speak louder then words!

Come and follow me to stream
of the things that use to be
I'm the pipe piper at the head of the line
I'll take you to neverland sometime
Do you realize

So What? Am different, do you hate me?
What would you like me to say, to dress
To look like her the model on your wall
Just wait for the verse of your song
Then you'll wake up and say

Haven't you heard that actions speak louder then words!

Current Mood: WHY??????
Current Music: Nah

Ah! A Real Grown Up!
Well just to let you know I don't want to grow up because if I did I wouldn't be a toys R us Kid.

No Seriously! What the hell! I just finished buying a home, furnished it and everything. I can't freakin believe it. But I guess everyone's got to grow up sometime.

Now all I need to get on an exercise program and find a boyfriend. So those that have single male friends pass them down because I am seriously up the creek without a paddle. I feel like the green guy on the lucky charms box at the end of the rainbow but know one can find me. But hell if i were him I'd keep the gold and go shopping. Again that's just me.

Have you ever woke up saying to yourself "what a messed place i'm in? I can't believe this is my life and I have done just about nothing with it." Its like accepting fate and sayin' well this is it might as well deal with it.

Damn people GIVE ME TEQUILA AND SALT! I have so many lemons that were tossed my way I just don't know what to do with them. I figure I might as well enjoy my stay while it lasts.

Current Music: ~ Whatever comes out of i-tunes~

I don't know
I had to drop like two of my three classes because my life is not going according to plan. I have a major crush on this guy that I don't know what to think. I don't know what to believe but I hope things work out or at least we stay friends for awhile that would be cool with me. As long as I don't walk in on him doing something I'm okay. I haven't spoken with the German guy in a while but I think its for the best. He is doing this like long distance thing so with some girl that it seems he has never met.

Life is full of people, speed bumps, and crazy night with crazy cars and all you need to do is drive. I have so many things going on that I think I will be going crazy soon or lose hair.

**********po'm************

Tell me what it taste like
the bitter flavor of that drink you had
I'm still young but I feel so alone
Have the best of me
When you dream
Is it enough?

Here we are again
at the bar.
The drinks are servered
but the communication is gone

I won't give up
I still have hope
Life is so long
so Tell me what it taste like
the bitter flavor of that drink you had

Current Mood: AH the SUN!
Current Music: Cinderella by Northstar

So I'm at work I read an e-mail
This I guy was seeing, dating whatever you want to call it many a moon ago I decided to email him. So I finally got a reply and it turns out he's in Germany back home again. Well in the e-mail like always everything is going great for him. I think though that he likes his little sister that really isn't his sister (she's a kid of one the the people he lives with he is on exchanage) and its kinda distrubing considering that she's 3 or 4 years old. I just wanted to share that...

Then I started to get sad because it sucks how life works. I work really hard I go to school and I have to make such a big effort for things to work out for me but for some people its easy street. I really makes me feel like "it's me against the world". I see some of my friends go through hardships and they pull through alright but then there those that its cake all day everyday and that bites. Reality sucks sometimes because the underdog never gets his bone while everyone else seems to be just smooth sailing...

I think I e-mailed him because I felt that I'm lonely and need to be reminded that one day there will be a person for me right? T_T

Current Mood: Why do I feel sad
Current Music: I think I need a therapist (damn spelling)

So the 7th is only a memory
Happy B-Day Karin! (superlate here but what ever)

This Film is AWESOME 5 out of 5 cookies for real! Watch it because your going to watch if you don't watch then you would have missed to watch it so what anyway because you know that what you really want!

The computer stuff was kinda cheesy but that aside its really good ahrr...

Now to the personal stuff um...nothing much to complain about really everything is on course so were are okay in that department except my 4000 lv class in which I might fail because I think its hard as hell but its okay I will survive...maybe -_- I want to really just T_T <---cry and cry some more....

On to the topic at hand I was thinking I'm in need of some male companionship for real! It sucks in away to be surrounded by a world that has found their someone and be the only one without (or at least feel that way anyway)....I'm sure many can relate to FEB 14th single dates of Ben & Jerrys with a dvd in the player and a box of just in case tissues to cover up that makeup you didn't put on because your home all alone with ben and jerry....
Well on till next time...

Current Mood: Awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
Current Music: Lola Ray Track 1

HEY HEY We're the monkeys the funkiest monkeys around
My weekend was a bust no art stuff again no fun and excitement it was just a bore bessy didn't call so we didn't watch 2046 and i was excited to... it was just a weekend of dissappointment...I got super shafted by mý so called 'friends' the whole weekend just when you think you could depend on them they let you down and put you on the ground but you knew they would so its okay i guess...I'm just bit sad while everyone else is a bit rock n roll...(i bad a pun its bad but whatever) I guess my largest sadness maybe that i spent the whole weekend depress....

***********p0'M**********

200PM I'm writing to you
These paper clips are memories
On every sheet they fade
Old and grey thoughts of the fun days
Its a different shade now in that place
Where you didn't feel left out from the crowd
I'm not the one in the pictures but the one taking them
I've feel lost in the thoughts of the now
When did I get like this
Real friends definitions are just an ignition to site the words of works
Feed the fire thats what it does
I'm a lair or lost because
TOM is visting every month making me lose my control
over myself
So paint the average look of those that pass you by
and mark a page on the journal you spoke about them
Its a mystery this life that we live where strangers mean more then friends
where friends treat you like enemies
I surrend my white my white flag again
Its lonely in a world thats all your own

Current Mood: I hate feeling like this
Current Music: AH! Egyptian musk: HA

so yeasterday
It sucked like WWF Smack down fight that got disconnected due to trouble at the station or traffic to an event you really really want to go to and can't...We went to hollywood only to find ourselves driving and driving around to later find no tennis shoes to go in....damn! you can't wear those so our friend couldn't go inside the night was damned...the worst part is we did nothing and travel a large amount of miles, and wasted 2 quarters of my very full gas tank...
Okay on another note I think my friend in kinda upset at me but it wasn't really my fault that I couldn't get in...or anyones for that matter it just as she said it just wasn't meant to be...

okay so I want to go to italy it turns out the best time to do it in nov. and to go to japan its in may...who would have guessed the two months out of the year that are usally the hardest to request off...

Welcome to hell
ITS HOT! Really HOT! I'm melting in my office, car and home. Its like I was dropped in pot and the put the heat on hi...Global Warming Ha! You laugh I cry from the pain it is inflicting on my right now. I'm late to my contact appointment with my doctor..Everyday its a new thing something new happens...I'm kinda excited but not at the same time right now but will see what the sun turns out for me....I'm reading the devil wears prada its good So far...Its about sticking it out in a harsh work enviroment to make a future later...its funny and an interesting read its girly not for men...I was thinkin I would talk a bit more about life but I'm not depressed so it went away....

poém**********

I was lost before it even begun
But what am I going to do again
Well, I'll keeping waiting
Till I've made it

I'll keeping working
Till I die to reach you
my dream--
Its to make it in this short game
Passing GO never felt the same
I'll make it
because I'm dreaming of you--

This just to let know
That I'm working hard towards my goal
Yeah thats me sweating in the street
but just wait till I've reached it
Just cause I love me--

******************
before it gets read out of context its about working towards you dreams/goals and I'm tring really hard to get there even though i've made only just half an effort but its worth it...I'be learned that you have to love yourself and respect yourself to gain respect...In which case I do even though its hard sometimes to think positively you just have to dream though and you know you'll pull thru...

Current Mood: I still need more and more
Current Music: Mae

THE HEAT WON ::CYBER HONK! HONK!!::
So yesterday around midnight the heat have won the champ. for the first time ever in there lengthy run as a basket ball team.

WE WON! AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Current Mood: I need more sleep
Current Music: win amp radio random-ness

ITs MONDAi 130AM
Its has come to my attention that I have seen way to many movies in one day ::pats back, coughs then sighs:: but its quite the achievement considering I barely have time to breathe…but I think I learned, maybe cried and then thought about life in a subconscious way…So I will explain as best I can about life in about 10min I am removing from my slumber for I will go to bed and dream right after…
Its funny, you know, I believe that life is short and short lived it is the moonlight that casts the shadow at your floor when you look down at night. Or maybe it’s the sun that illuminates the darkness we hide at night so that we ourselves can learn to wear our hearts on a sleeve for the world to see…If I have learned what is art? I do not know. If I have lived as I wished I should? I don’t know. If I have truly lived? I still don’t know…but there is much of life I have not lived and I continue to live it and its seems okay so far.
I was thinking about my first real kiss, It was probably because of some film I watched, you know not the dare or the random night something happened… I mean the first time you kissed someone that meant something you did not know you could feel for until that moment your insides fluttered and you thought you were dreaming…okay that’s a bit dramatic but you get the point…Then I thought about the last kiss I gave to that first kiss…umm things as like really make wonder if the world is cruel sometimes or beautiful for just a moment or a second…okay I’ll be back to elaborate---

Current Mood: think think think oh bother
Current Music: rain keeps fallin on my head....

Poem en espanol ::Spanish Poem
I translated for those that don't understand SAP en Espanol but it sounds better in spanish

Estoy

Estoy arepentida de el viernes pasado ::I am regreting last friday
Cuando nos besamos y ya no nos hablamos :: when we kissed and we don't speak anymore
Te vi besando a una chica nueva el sabado :: I saw you kissing a new girl on saturday
Mientras yo estoy soñando en ti::while i am still dreaming about you

Estoy encerrada en este cuarto:: I am locked in this room
Pensando en ti::Thinking about you
Tengo que salir de aqui::I need to get out of here

Estoy en busca de un amor real y para siempre::I am searching for real love and forever
Enves de un amor que dura el segundo:: Instead of love that last a second
de un pensamiento:: of a thought
Voy a encontrarme un nuevo chico ::I'm going to find myself a new guy
Que me mueva por dentro::that will move me from my insides
como una tormenta tropical y exotica::like a storm and exotic
Mientras tu ya te olvidaste de mi::While you already forgot about me

Estoy tomada en un bar::I'm drunk in a bar
El pasado me persigue y el futuro me estraña::My past chases me and my futuro misses me
Pero hecho adelante sin ti::but i'll move forward without
La vida es muy corta par solo::life is to short to only
estar pensando en ti:: be thinking of you

Current Mood: i have a lot of homework
Current Music: head automatica :: Graduation Day ....

so i'm awake again
Okay so you wake up every day how anytimes is that today? I don't know nor do i care but its interesting to realize that things adventures adventures every step of the day...I have to go to a party in which i must attend~ i have white cake WHITE CAKE waiting for me my super awesome friend made me a cake cause i can eat chocolate cake so everyone will be eating it and i will be haveing albino cake how cool is that. I'm so speacial (forgot to spell again but when is that new =/)...well i'm off to take a shower make some rice you know that type of thing...

Take Journal Friends for my webcast this early afternoon has come to an end...

Current Mood: <----WHY is the day SHORT
Current Music: Ben Ten For Post: Sturmer (don't ask)

I like it but it scares me!!! say it SAP in Espanol...
its 4am and i'm on live journal what does this tell you...I got retard? no! but i think i took the drink well right? I did have a great day minus having to work... so we went on the hunt for green october and ended up not finding any until...we get kathy but my new found friend went with us which mako and I thought was really awesome of her...People R awesome I love every single one of yous guys...::SUPER CYBER HUG:: then we road out to the beaches with bobby jo which by the way is funny as hell...we didn't get to go to the erotic art thing but we still had a good time...lets just say it was foggy out in some areas...but in either case I had some fruity drink which as good...starbucks was closed we went to the beach and i laid there like I always do looking at the sky and cuting circulation off someones legs since I don't want to rest my head in the sand ::curly hair no way::...we sang, bobby jo thought a trash can was a man stripping lol and katt made up some hip hop song remix that mako download before the cd came out...IHOP again but thats cool cause I could eat a horse well not really but you get the point...by the way i want sushi--

Current Mood: What a day....
Current Music: head automatica:grad. song

Wat Up Fat Cats!
So yesterday I finally hung out with the girl in flim class...How about she's super cool...Funny you know you never know who you can meet...Make new friends is hard for me considering that i've known my friends for such a long time I don't think I have a friend I just met now that I think about it execpt for my soon to be new friend and april (which i really need to hang out with)... But I'm glad I'm going to get to know someone new. I can't believe we talked for such a long time with out getting bored or running of things to say...Wicked!
I'm going to get kathy at the mall today and maybe go to the erotic art place...yes erotic art place with mako-chan and frankie (well she doesn't know)... Its going to be an experience I can tell you that... on Saturday me and katt are going to do the photo thing I need to get my camera from ely cuase I want digi and reg flim...Its going to be awesome I'm so posting them up...look forward to my people...

okay so its something I thought I should write eventful yes its a thank you a hope and hello and consideration with a sigh---
-------------okay po'm of the day************

Life is an adventure

Every turn every look
We are the crooks that thieve are way through

I met someone yesterday, a month ago, an hour, a minute, a second
It’s relative and unimportant when

Another hero for a cause looking for a friend
Dreamers are we hoping for a good end

A throne, a crown that gave us a frown
We smile look forward and walk again

We will venture together on a new plain of being
Becoming good friends

Life has thrown me good things and good ends

Share my wills, my thoughts, and my dreams
Hope to find a common understanding of being just me

Others would laugh, shrug and smile
While I’m glad like a zip lock bag to have made others smile

I am a good friend, sister, and person which has shared
Tears and laughter with all of them
Those I’ve and have yet to meet

So to my friends I say thank you
For being here with me
For the tears and the joy
The times we have spent together
Dreaming of what has yet to be
Tuscany

And for my family I smile
As gently as can be
Your support has helped me be me

For those I have met
Who have yet become friends
You will get to know a great person
Who will become a great friend
Great things you will learn from me
And I you in the time we will spend

For those I have yet to meet
I look forward to our journey
In this adventure of life we have received

Current Mood: I must leave work
Current Music: Snoop Dogg dat dat dara

Weekend How Was it? hmm....
Well My weekend was wateva I stayed over a friends house and watched movies then went out to watch more. But it was cool I got to cook for her and her boyfriend they liked it ^-^ makes me happy! when others like my art work or poems or food it makes me feel like i did something meaning full. I guess when you work at something you like to enjoy others enjoying you hard work turn out.

I need to get back to painting my silent earth painting I want to post it up along with a fan art of KH2 (kingdom hearts 2) pick of sora in nightmare gear.

by the way District B13 is awesome the guy is hot before it ended it was already part of my dvd collection. next on-bok (however you spell that)

***************po'm**************************

I put nails in your bed
and acid in your shampoo
peeled off your skin in your sleep
to keep me from burning up
in the fire--

You were the flicker on the candle
I am the ashes of the letter
you wrote to my heart--

When did this happen
A teenage drama on thursday night
Everyone is watching
Turn off the lights

Current Mood: zzzz...sleep I want
Current Music: cross my heart: no give backs

soo this is the movie
*****po'm***title: dinner****
I'm mail box 14
Third to the left str-8 until sunset
Close you eyes
Pour the dust
Think what you can
cause happiness is at its end--

Drive to the 1st kiss
Celebrate the adversity of life
Clap and snap you fingers to the sound
of the beating drums at your funeral--

Remember the meetings--
the talks--
all the great laughs and times we've had
Do you realize that they are floating by
Reality is much darker then the tear
From yesterdays eyes
Someday we'll meet the gap of those that cross the path
of your today--
The world spins round and round every second of everyday
paths will cross, people die, things happen
Good things don't last forever
So enjoy the meal and savor the flavor--

------po'm---------

Action
The script needs to be played out
Scene 1 Act 2 clap before me fool

The terms of this intermission
Is unsatisfactory of the confession
At this concession

Close the gates condescendingly
Proceed Accordingly

Hippocrates one day will die
So say all your sad good-bye’s
Realize that you lost your eyes
Know its just a state of mind

Current Mood: looking for love
Current Music: postal service: clark gable

I want to write more
***********PO'M******************

Shout out this is the end
Of the lie, its an obvious goodbye
Then 2-marrow you will see
That pretending feels so real
And you'll love it

In this B Movie you are the light
That shines the way
To the Sunset
Well rent the video for a friday
Maybe next weekend

Current Mood: Single Sucks
Current Music: Postal Service: Clark Gable

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